How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
Life gets busy. Has You are a Badass been gathering dust on your bookshelf? Instead, learn some of the key ideas now.
You are a Badass points out everything wrong with our daily choices. We live our lives doing what others tell us to do and what we think we are supposed to do. Instead, Jen Sincero suggests you should be doing what you want to do. Doing what you love and living for yourself will make you happier and richer. You are a Badass aims to help you identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that stop you from getting what you want, blast past your fears so you can take big exciting risks, figure out how to make large sums of money, and learn to love yourself and others.
Jen Sincero’s Perspective
Jen Sincero is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, success coach, and motivational speaker who’s helped countless people transform their personal and professional lives via her products, speaking engagements, newsletters, seminars, and books. Her #1 New York Times bestseller, You Are a Badass, has sold over three million copies. Additionally, this book is now available in over 35 languages, continues to grow in popularity worldwide, and has been on the New York Times bestseller list for over four years and counting.
Part 1: How You Got This Way
My Subconscious Made Me Do It
Our subconscious has a significant impact on how we feel and the decisions that we make. Therefore, every time you tearfully ask yourself, ‘What is wrong with me?’, the answer is almost certainly a limiting and false subconscious belief. The dangerous thing about these beliefs is that you can be holding them without even being aware that you are carrying them along with you each day.
Jen Sincero provides an outline of the impact that the subconscious mind has on our lives and the factors underpinning its influence:
1) Our subconscious mind contains the blueprint for our lives. Therefore, our subconscious minds are running our lives based on unfiltered information gathered throughout our childhood. Jen labels this unfiltered information as our beliefs.
2) We are, for the most part, completely oblivious to the subconscious beliefs that run our lives.
3) When our conscious minds finally develop around late adolescence, it remains under the control of our subconscious mind. It does not matter how big and smart your brain becomes. Your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors will still be controlled by the beliefs that were adopted by your subconscious mind.
The Big Snooze
Throughout You Are a Badass, Jen talks about the Big snooze. Our Big Snooze has been traditionally called, by individuals such as Freud, as the Ego. Jen describes our big snooze as our shadow self or false self. This self is often behind the silly mistakes we make. For example, it is the part of us that is orchestrating our downfall when we sabotage our happiness by cheating on our partners. Instead of these behaviors being linked to sexual disinhibition or hate for our loved ones, these behaviors are linked to us not feeling worthy of love.
Jen calls the Ego the Big Snooze because she believes the leading cause of these silly behaviors is not waking up to how truly powerful and incredible we are as individuals. The Big Snooze operates by utilizing your limiting false beliefs. Additionally, the Big Snooze is reinforced by external sources. The Big Snooze’s primary aim is to keep you in a state of fear whereby you commit to remaining safely confined within the reality you have created. Jen calls this your comfort zone.
Your Non-BS Self
Your higher self or your non-BS self is who you truly are without the control of your subconscious. Jen explains that this part of you operates according to your connection to Source Energy. Hence, it obtains its validation internally. Additionally, it is characterized by proactivity and love. Finally, your Non-BS self is committed to creating a reality based on your limitless potential. This self can be implemented once you have woken up from your Big Snooze.
Transitioning from your Big Snooze to your Non-BS self is a difficult task. Your Big Snooze will do everything that it can to stop you from changing and growing. You are ultimately attempting to obliterate the identity that others have come to know as ‘you.’ Therefore, you will experience some push-back from those you love. These disapproving individuals are snoring away in their own Big Snooze. Their discomfort with the changes you are making in your life can be displayed in the form of anger, hurt, bafflement, or criticism.
Despite the challenges associated with transitioning away from your Big Snooze, you must stop at nothing to take back control of your life. Have faith in your own abilities and trust that your new life is there for the taking. Consider how much better your life can be if you make these changes. Plus, remember that it is as easy to think of yourself as awesome as it is to believe you are terrible at everything.
Part 2: How To Embrace Your Inner Badass
“You are responsible for what you say and do. You are not responsible for whether or not people freak out about it.”– Jen Sincero
Love the One You Is
“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.”– Jen Sincero
Self-love is a crucial part of being a badass. If you are in love with yourself, you will not waste your time on your own or others’ bullshit.
Jen provides a list of tips that can help encourage self-love:
- Appreciate how special you are
- Drown yourself in affirmations
- Do things you love
- Ditch the self-deprecating humor
- Let the love in
- Don’t compare yourself to others
- Forgive yourself
You are loved massively, ferociously, and unconditionally. The Universe believes that you are awesome. It is just waiting for you to believe the same so that it can provide you with what you deserve. Therefore, give yourself the self-confidence and self-love that the Universe wants for you.
I Know You Are But What Am I?
You should never waste your time worrying about what other people think of you. We are ruining our self-love and passion if we live in fear of what others might think. Instead, you should be aiming to celebrate who you are and what you have achieved. Only you are responsible for what you say and do. Nobody can take your personal autonomy away from you, so take full advantage of your self-control. You are not responsible for what others think about what you do. Therefore, only worry about what you are doing.
On top of this, Jen argues that what other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Therefore, all that matters in life is being true to yourself. Hence, if you can stay connected to who you are and what you are passionate about, you will be a mighty superhero.
What Are You Doing Here?
Everyone’s journey is unique, but we are all trying to get to the same place. This place is wherever we feel happiest, the most alive, and the most like ourselves. Again, Jen provides clear steps for how you can find this happy place:
- Take the first right step. Don’t waste hours and days trying to figure out your perfect next move. Just DO something already.
- Do your best wherever you’re at.
- Don’t reinvent the wheel. What things are people doing that you would love to do too?
- Avoid getting caught up in the thunderbolt hype. One of the most paralyzing conceptions is that we’re all supposed to have ONE true calling. We all evolve, let yourself off the hook.
- Listen to your intuition.
- Follow your fantasies.
- Love yourself.
Part 3: How To Tap Into the Motherlode
“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”– Jen Sincero
Meditation can sound stupidly simple, but in reality, meditation can be stupidly hard to practice. Therefore, Jen suggests there is no right or wrong way to meditate. Do not worry about adhering to a set amount of time, set emotions, or set rules around where you have to sit. All that matters is that you meditate. If you get into the habit of meditating, you will learn what is right for you. Then, meditation will start to truly change your life.
Your Brain Is Your Bitch
“Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our actions, our actions become our habits, and our habits become our realities.”– Jen Sincero
Sometimes it can feel like your brain is controlling us. However, Jen explains that you can make your brain your bitch. You can utilize your brain for your benefit. For example, Jen recommends positive thinking as a powerful tool for changing our realities. Through our thoughts, we can make considerable changes to our lives.
You have to change your thinking first, and then the evidence appears. Our big mistake is that we tend to do it the other way around. We demand to see the evidence before we believe it to be true. Your job isn’t to know the ‘how.’ Instead, your job is to know the ‘what’ and be open to discovering and receiving the ‘how.’
Forgive or Fester
Holding onto grudges will never have a positive effect on your life. In contrast, forgiveness has fantastic potential to improve every part of your existence. The moment you decide to forgive and let your negative feelings melt away, you are on the road to freedom. Forgiveness is all about taking care of you, not the person you need to forgive. Put your desire to feel good before your desire to be right. Plus, take responsibility for your happiness instead of pretending it’s in somebody else’s hands.
Forgiveness is not about being kind to the person you need to forgive. Instead, forgiveness is about owning your power by destroying all your anger, resentment, and hurt. Removing these negative emotions from your life means that you are taking care of yourself.
Hence, Jen describes forgiveness as:
- Taking care of yourself rather than the person you need to forgive.
- Putting your desire to feel good before your desire to be right.
- Taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of pretending it’s in somebody else’s hands.
Part 4: How To Get Over Your B.S. Already
“If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.”– Jen Sincero
It’s So Easy Once You Figure Out It Isn’t Hard
Our entire experience on this planet is determined by how we choose to perceive our reality. Therefore, to improve your life, all you have to do is make a choice to let go of things that do not serve you. Then, replace this gap with the reality that you want for yourself. Once you realize that life is merely an illusion created by your perception, the sooner you can start creating a happy world for yourself.
Procrastination Prevents Perfection
Lack of experience is not the biggest obstacle in our journey to success. Instead, the biggest obstacle to your success is lacking the determination required. Procrastination is so common that people tend to spend more time and energy, creating excuses for why they can’t be, do, or have the things that they want than actually pursuing these things. In fact, most of us have spent so much time procrastinating that we have designed the perfect distractions to keep us from pursuing our dreams. Our perfect designs make procrastination the easiest possible form of self-sabotage. Therefore, you should become serious about changing your life. If you are genuinely serious about making a change, you will no longer be looking for excuses.
Fear Is for Suckers
Procrastination and a lack of ambition feed off of fear. However, although the feeling of being afraid is real, your fears are only constructed of things that haven’t even happened yet. Therefore, Jen describes fear as living in the future. Most of the time, we have no guarantee that what we fear is going to even happen. On top of this, we cannot even know that it will be scary if it does happen.
Jen recommends learning to be comfortable with the unknown. Although the future is undecided, this does not mean we should be scared of it. Instead, have faith that your future will be full of happiness and success. On the other side of your fear is your freedom.
Part 5: How To Kick Some Ass
The Almighty Decision
When you make a no-nonsense decision, you need to sign up fully and keep moving toward your goal, regardless of what’s flung in your path. There is a tendency for people to view making decisions as signing up to try something until it gets too uncomfortable. If you want to be successful, then it is likely that some of your decisions will have some uncomfortable experiences along the way. For example, looking silly in front of other people or spending more money than you initially planned.
You will not be successful if you do not ‘fail’ along the way. Jen explains that the only failure in life is quitting. Everything else in life is just gathering information.
Remember to Surrender
Your faith in the universe must be stronger than your fear of not getting what you want. When things get complicated, it is easy to believe you need to take charge of the situation. Taking charge of a situation is equivalent to adopting fear-based thinking. You are attempting to overrule the universe because of the fears you have about the future. Regardless of our best intentions and hard work, these fears can easily surface. Instead, Jen suggests that you have faith and gratitude in what the universe will deliver to you. Jen describes this as love-based thinking.
It is silly believing that you can control circumstances better than the universe. You must choose to surrender over resistance:
- Doubt is resistance, and faith is surrender.
- Ridicule is resistance, and believing is surrender.
- Worry is resistance, and joy is surrender.
- Control is resistance, and allowing is surrender.
Doing vs. Spewing
There’s a statistic that says only 5 percent of people who sign up for something, like a course or a seminar, actually do anything with it. And this includes very, very, very high-quality courses. This is because many people wish for change and want it, but they are not willing to invest the time into actualizing the ideas. These people do not actually want their success as much as they say they do.
Successful people are not only willing to feel uncomfortable. Instead, they are willing to make a habit of feeling uncomfortable to become successful. They keep moving through each new challenge instead of stagnating and settling. The muscle of kick-assery is like any other muscle—you have to use it or lose it.
We rate this book 4/5.
If you have feedback about this summary or would like to share what you have learned, comment below.
New to StoryShots? Get the audio and animated versions of this summary and hundreds of other bestselling nonfiction books in our free top-ranking app. It’s been featured by Apple, The Guardian, The UN, and Google as one of the world’s best reading and learning apps.
Related Book Summaries
Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins
Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis
You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin
Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink
Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Girl, Wash Your Face by Jen Sincero
Super Attractor by Gabrielle Bernstein
Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Option B by Sheryl Sandberg
It’s All in Your Head by Russ