Shwetabh Gangwar’s Perspective
Shwetabh Gangwar is a novelist and public speaker. He has over two million followers on YouTube and is a professional problem-solver. He solves people’s problems sent to him on his Instagram with complete dedication. Moreover, he tries to create as many videos as possible on them.
He is known for his honest and valuable content and his arguments on various topics many ignore every day. Unfortunately, this has earned him both hate and praise from many YouTubers and viewers alike.
He is called the ‘men’s rights advocate’ by the people but is not a fan of the label.
Introduction
This book is an assortment of points of view. This book does not intend to teach but to make you think. That is why the charged language, the book title, and the brutal methods. Though the book teaches a ton, all you want to do is consider it.
This book is all about freeing your brain. From all the horse crap you got yourself into and are experiencing. Since this book is tied in with freeing you, it discusses a ton of things from your life.
When you can’t help contradicting something in this text, note down ‘why’ in great detail. Ask yourself what your reasoning behind it is.
StoryShot #1: You Are a Product
How about we start with you. You are a product with hope linked to it. Here are a couple of things about you:
No one is born-ready.
Always be prepared.
People are emotional.
Every individual needs to figure out how to learn.
A person can think but doesn’t have any idea how to think, which is why they can’t figure out how to learn.
‘Emotional reaction’ is a bad instructor because, as an infant, emotional intelligence isn’t developed yet.
You might have expressed this on many events in your day-to-day existence: people are idiots. But one isn’t born an idiot. Instead, we unknowingly choose to be idiots since we aren’t shown the techniques of how to think.
Here are the differences between a person who is shown how to think and a person who is helped what to think:
A person who’s raised on what to think will, in general, follow thoughts.
Whereas someone who’s raised on the most proficient method to think will, in general, question.
The person raised on what to think will feel compromised by external thoughts, things, or individuals. In contrast, the person who is shown how to think will have a greater sense of control over their situation.
StoryShot #2: You Want To Be Special
The idea of being special excites nearly all of us. You must have imagined situations in which everybody around you would tell you that you’re amazing and treat you like you’re special.
Let’s say your colleagues or friends think that you are unique. Even your parents have told you that you are special.
So does one become special when others say so?
The straight answer is no. People aren’t qualified enough to decide whether someone is special or not.
You cannot achieve specialness in life from a single event. It can very quickly turn into an aspect of the past. To feel special, focus on garnering achievements, both personal and professional.
Shwetabh says that specialness is something you earn. And for that, you have to ask yourself if you are unique or not by closing your eyes. Your “self” will offer you the correct answer. Ask yourself.
Specialness is the badge of realization you earn. Don’t seek the acceptance and approval of others for your specialness. Instead, specialness should be the feeling felt on upgrading in life after mastering a skill.
StoryShot #3: Realize that Rejections are Normal
Rejection is a very common experience and happens to everybody at some point in their lives. It’s going to have nothing to do with you when it happens. But you take it personally and act as if you’re the only one it has happened to.
Rejections continue throughout your lifetime. However, they tend to have a severe effect in the initial years when you are a little too hopeful and entitled. It may have been that teacher you wanted to be noticed by, who somehow always moved past you as if you were non-existent.
Rejections are normal. Whenever you don’t achieve something you care about, you think: I’m an idiot, a loser, I need to die.
You must break this chain of self-harm, knowing that failures, losses, and rejections are normal. Doing so directs all those compelling negative emotions into something useful. You will feel less miserable once you’ve adopted ‘failures are normal’ as the foundational principle in real winning.
Although failures are normal, you recognize that that doesn’t mean they are nothing. Real winning requires the minimization of losses to the simplest of your control.
StoryShot #4: Understand that People are Weird
Why is the idea that ‘people are weird’ necessary for your growth? It is far better than having delusional perceptions. Your perception of something can create expectations from them.
Here are four concrete points to keep in mind to avoid creating such perceptions:
- Data. Knowledge about something, anything, comes from data— remind yourself of this.
- First impressions are fake. Make a conscious effort to dissolve the images your brain makes of people. They don’t come from data but from how you perceive the planet.
- People are weird. Avoid making false assumptions keeping this in mind.
- We sleep in a world of marketing. Anybody can sell you anything, especially when there is no data.
StoryShot #5: Screw Happiness and Choose Satisfaction
In general, what you want in life is happiness. Behind most of your actions, decisions, and relationships is the pursuit of happiness. Unfortunately, you haven’t realized that happiness and satisfaction are not the same.
The general answer to what makes you happy would be being nice to people, partying, and watching great TV shows and movies.
Self-satisfaction involves precise knowledge of what would make “you” happy. This begins with self-awareness. Knowledge of this kind gets locked away inside your brain when it’s not being applied.
When you have to serve a self, the self tells you what the value is. If you don’t, you will have to rely on others. When they give you validation that you’re worth it, you feel happy. This is because you depend on others to tell you what you’re worth, and that arrangement makes you happy.
StoryShot #6: You Are a Nation
Start seeing yourself as a nation, not just a person.
Other people are other nations. For example, your parents, siblings, and loved ones are from neighboring countries. If you have a good relationship with them, that’s great; If not, you both suffer.
Your “self” is the President of the nation. Your code of ethics and your rules become your Constitution. These rules come from knowing what is causing harm to the nation. And the moral code establishes the limits that you will never cross.
Self-Regulation is the security force that enforces the rules and moral codes of the Constitution. Self-esteem is your nation’s happiness index, which is felt when self-control is doing its job well. The desires, impulses, or tendencies in you that do harm are the terrorists.
Your ego is the opposition party. He wants you to be the best, but he doesn’t know what “the best” is, other than it’s a word that makes you feel good. And because of this, the self must rule over the ego and cooperate on specific projects. Complacency enjoys the prosperity of results.
StoryShot #7: Forget Your Heroes
Think about the people whose approval means everything to you. These are famous beings who hold a place of unquestioned authority in your mind. These are the people you don’t want to disappoint. You get excited when you see them; each of their words is wisdom for you; Their actions are the right actions, and their achievements and knowledge make you want to follow them.
In general, you tend to believe without thinking that there are heroes in this world; You see people who do good as “heroes.” And you call people your heroes when you believe they are capable and cool.
This infection in our thought process has spread from movies, television shows, and the dramatic retelling of historical accounts by people with heroic prospects. Although you know that the idea of a “hero” comes from fiction, you don’t realize that it also ends up in fiction. We are just happy to make it possible.
The truth is that the idea of a hero and a villain is exciting and too simple. Even a four-year-old understands it and feels trapped by it. A wise person once wrote, “Truth is seldom pure and never simple.” This idea is both.
One of the worst things you can do to yourself is call someone your hero or role model.
They fit into your childhood fantasy of being perfect the moment you do so. They stop being human to become something more prominent in your eyes. That’s dangerous because that’s what they are: humans. The concept of good and evil also prevents you from fully empowering yourself and fully accepting others.
There are no heroes, no good people, no bad people: these are stupid and oversimplified perceptions. We are fully capable of performing acts of different kinds, ranging from ethical to evil, in different situations at different times for various personal reasons.
StoryShot #8: Admire, Don’t Follow
You are a fan of the extraordinary deeds and the talents of accomplished people, not their lives. Learn to differentiate. What you have is a fascination with their lives. Without their accomplishments, you wouldn’t even have known their names. So why not admire them just for these acts!
Now comes the important point: the element of honesty is what separates blind following from admiration.
The more honest the person you follow is, the less you want to emulate and become them. On the other hand, the more dishonest a person is, the more you want to be like them. The focus is on actual data and honesty. Everything else is advertising and conjecture.
Honesty removes the fake image of perfection from your eyes. Instead, you see ordinary, accessible people with flaws and struggles, just like you. That’s why you admire them, for their reality.
So the more honest a person is, the more they are admired. The less honest a person is, the more you follow them.
StoryShot #9: Finding Love is Hard
For many people, love is the idea that someone else will make you happier than yourself.
No doubt, it’s a terrible idea.
If both parties believe this, codependency will occur. If only one of them does, they become servants of the other.
Suppose you are convinced that being with this person will make you happier. In that case, you completely overlook the need for self-esteem, which was your happiness index, for this one person who supposedly makes you happy.
You need to understand where your self-esteem comes from. That gives you respect for yourself.
Be clear about what a stable relationship is supposed to be:
A relationship is not about giving someone authority over yourself.
- In a relationship, self-esteem should never be compromised or replaced by anything.
- Self-control ensures continued respect from your partner. The self must always come first.
- A relationship should be seen as a partnership between two people.
StoryShot #10: Learn How to Think
How you think now depends entirely on how you were taught to think as a child. So if you were curious about something at a young age, there was a good chance you were given a packet of information on the subject. That would make you feel satisfied and stop thinking about it.
If you want to be wise, you must accept that you don’t know anything. Everything you’ve learned so far comes from someone telling you how to feel and what to think.
Some people can sense nonsense from a mile away; that should be your goal. If you’re watching the news or getting sold something, you should be able to separate the data from the narrative. This doesn’t mean that you should solve all your problems at once or only when it’s gotten so big that you can’t focus on anything else in your life.
Keep in mind that wrong beliefs make you stupid; the right ones set you free. The only difference is that the wrong ones are readily available, and you have to fight for the right ones.
Final Summary and Review of The Rudest Book Ever
- You are a product. You are expected to become that impressive and functional entity, able to choose jobs, careers, relationships, environments, and finances. The better the options, the better the product: that’s the simple law by which the world judges you.
- Rejection is part of life. Everyone faces rejection at different points in their lives. Learning to deal with rejection is, therefore, very important.
- Nobody is special; nobody is stupid. Look and trust the data, not the gossip. Don’t trust first impressions, and do not judge. We live in a world of marketing. Know a person based on actual data.
- The reason for all our actions is “happiness.” We don’t understand the difference between satisfaction and happiness. The search for self-satisfaction gives us peace of mind and happiness as a product. You don’t need to be temporarily happy while you work to improve your life.
- If you want recognition and acceptance of yourself, you have to start seeing yourself as a nation. You are a nation, not a person. Other people are other nations. You do not want another foreign nation to rule over your country and thus become your nation’s authority and decide what is right and what is wrong for your country.
- We have a habit of simplifying things, so we divide people—a good and a bad. One is a hero, and the other a villain. But that’s not true; people are not all good and not all bad.
- Every time we follow someone, we start idolizing them. We then begin defending their mistakes as we think they are perfect. But nobody is perfect! Nobody! Instead of following, we should admire a person’s ability and quality and try to learn it.
- Be realistic when looking for someone. Don’t chase the imagination. Set practical criteria based on your personal life goals. Take the time and care to get to know people. You must have the authority to make yourself happy and content. The source of happiness should never be the other person.
- If you want to become intelligent, you have to admit that you don’t know anything or that what you know is probably wrong. Everything you’ve learned so far comes from someone telling you how to feel and what to think.
10. Avoid blindly following beliefs and learn to question. Wrong beliefs make you stupid; it’s the right ones that set you free.
