Ego is The Enemy Summary and Review | Ryan Holiday

StoryShot #4: Success Relies on Keeping Your Ego in Check

Success can lead to your ego taking over. However, your future success is also dependent on your ability to keep your ego in check. It is easy to start believing you are the greatest when you achieve a degree of success. Subsequently, you may stop challenging your ego. However, countless examples of highly successful leaders faltered as their ego got the best of them. This faltering is associated with believing you no longer have to do the fundamentals of success. Therefore, to prevent this from happening, try to reconnect with the world. Take a walk in nature or gaze into the night sky. Experience the infinite so you can better connect with the world. Each time you feel detached from the fundamentals, attempt to reconnect with the basics of life again.

StoryShot #5: Failure Is Part of Life

Nobody is successful forever. There are two constants in life: change and transformation. You can let your ego get the better of you and allow failure to break you. Or, you can utilize failure as a learning opportunity and a springboard towards obtaining tremendous success in the future. Ryan Holiday breaks failure down into alive time and dead time. Dead time is characterized by feeling sorry for yourself and blaming others and the surrounding environment. During dead time, some even claim that they are hopeless. This period, as Robert Green points out, is characterized by passivity. Alternatively, alive time involves utilizing this period of failure to learn something, grow further, and become a better person. It is characterized by action and learning.

StoryShot #6: Use These 9 Tips to Challenge Your Ego

Tip No. 1: +, – and =

Holiday argues that to frequently challenge your ego, you need to surround yourself with a wide variety of people. You need people who are +s. +s are those who are better than you at the tasks you are most interested in. These people are integral to challenging the idea that you have ‘made it’ or are the best you can be. They will help teach you and help you grow. 

Additionally, you also need -s. -s are people who are less skilled than you in the tasks you are interested in. This will help foster humility. You can help teach these people and provide support rather than purely focusing on personal success. 

Finally, you need =s, who are your equal in a particular task. These people will help you grow as they will challenge you and push you to provide your best effort. Effort is the most important thing in life. Not the success or failures associated with your efforts.

Tip No. 2: Don’t Be Passionate, Be Purposeful

Holiday uses the example of John Wood, basketball coach for the all-time leading scorer in NBA history: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar described his highly successful coach as actively dispassionate. This characteristic is opposed to the frequently revered stereotype of coaches being overly passionate individuals. Instead, John Wood argued that passion and emotions get in the way of the job at hand. We must simply do our job to the best of our ability and not be a slave to passion. Passion distracts us from all the work that needs to be done to acquire the successes associated with passionate, inspirational ideas or speeches.

Based on this premise, Holiday argues that we must challenge the idea of passion and instead focus on purpose. Purpose removes the ego from our aspirations, as it focuses on something bigger than ourselves. It pushes you to ask more questions on how you can reach an end goal. This is rather than dreaming about the success of the end goal. Make your life about what you must do and say instead of what you care about and what you wish to be.

Tip No. 3: Try to Become a Student and Stay a Student

Being a student in life is fundamental to challenging your ego. It means you are actively accepting that another individual knows more about or is more skilled in a specific domain than you. Through this process of always seeking out opportunities to be a student, you are challenging the idea you are all-knowing in any domain. This will help you learn more and ground yourself in your current understanding and the actions required to reach the next goal.

Tip No. 4: Get Out of Your Own Mind

Plato historically argued that we, as humans, feast on our own thoughts. We fester with thoughts of who we are going to be and what we are going to do when we are successful. These thoughts distract us from the tasks at hand, which are the actions required to make this success a reality. Do not live in a passionate fiction, but an actionable reality.

Tip No. 5: Swallow Your Pride

Pride is one of the most dangerous features of our ego. Pride helps make minor failures seem monumental and small successes huge accomplishments. The issue with the exaggeration associated with pride is that it does not help us strive towards greater success. In our eyes, we have already achieved success, irrespective of reality. All the positive attributes required for success are dulled by pride: our ability to form relationships, learn, and adapt. A humble person is always improving; a prideful person is not.

Tip No. 6: Find the Perfect Balance

Aristotle described virtue and excellence as points on a spectrum. The center of this spectrum is optimum. Holiday builds on this point by arguing that we, as individuals, need to find the perfect balance. Moving towards the extremes will only provide risks. Holiday also points out that moving towards the extremes can be easy. It is easy to be complacent, and it is easy to merely focus on ourselves and not the bigger picture. We need to find the perfect balance. This perfect balance involves efficiently improving ourselves and the world.

Tip No. 7: Detach yourself from the outcome

For this tip, Holiday uses the example of John Kennedy Toole. An author whose book was universally rejected, Toole subsequently committed suicide. Following his death, his mother continued to publicize his book. Toole’s book, posthumously, won the Pulitzer Prize. This is an example of how we must detach ourselves from the outcome of our efforts. As stated earlier, all we have the right to is our efforts, not the fruits of our efforts.

Tip No. 8: Katabasis – We Need to Fall to Learn

In Ego is the Enemy, Holiday utilizes the Greek word katabasis. Katabasis directly translates as ‘going down.’ Katabasis relates to the frequent instances of characters falling and reaching distinct lows within Greek mythology. These distinct lows are then followed by the characters emerging with heightened awareness, motivation, and knowledge. Katabasis forces you to face your reality and grow as an individual. So, try to use your low points as a time to learn.

Tip No. 9: Maintain Your Own Scorecard

Focus on your own internal barometer. This internal barometer is your own measure of success. Put your utmost effort into becoming the best person you can be, rather than attempting to meet the expectations of the outside world. A person who focuses on this internal motivation won’t crave the spotlight as much as somebody who lets the spotlight dictate their own success.

StoryShot #7: Most of Our Success Is Not Our Own

One common error is the belief that success is solely attributable to ourselves. More often than not, our success is equally attributable to other people. Understanding and accepting the importance of others will keep your ego in check. Ryan Holiday offers the example of Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant to explain this point. Both were world-class players for the LA Lakers. They won three consecutive NBA championships, but they let their individual success go to their heads. They both started complaining about the other player in the media. Subsequently, Bryant refused to re-sign for the Lakers unless O’Neal was traded to another team. The Lakers agreed to trade O’Neal, but the result was that they didn’t win another championship for seven years. Ryan Holiday believes that showing humility will always have a positive outcome.

Final Summary and Review

 Ego Is the Enemy explores the negative impact that the ego can have on individuals and their success. Holiday argues that the ego is a desire to receive recognition without putting in the necessary work, and that it can lead people to prioritize their own desires and needs over what is best for the situation or for others.

Throughout the book, Holiday provides examples of individuals who let their ego get the best of them, resulting in their failure or downfall. He also offers strategies for keeping the ego in check, such as remembering that there is always more to learn, focusing on action rather than aspiration, and being mindful of how the ego influences interactions with others and decision-making.

One way to keep your ego in check is to remember that there is always more to learn. Teaching others can also help keep your ego in check, as it allows you to appreciate the full spectrum of skill levels and reminds you of the hard work required to reach your current level.

Another way to prevent your ego from taking over is to focus on action rather than aspiration. It is also essential to be mindful of how your ego influences your interactions with others. If you are constantly trying to prove your worth to others, you are likely letting your ego guide your actions. Instead, try to listen to others and be open to learning from them.

Overall, Ego Is the Enemy is a thought-provoking and insightful read that provides valuable insights into the negative impact of the ego and strategies for overcoming it.