Models Summary and Review | Mark Manson

Read time: 11 min

Life gets busy. Has Models been gathering dust on your bookshelf? Instead, pick up the key ideas now.

We’re scratching the surface here. If you don’t already have the book, order the book or get the audiobook for free to learn the juicy details.

Did you know that over 8 million copies of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson have been sold worldwide? Well, if you’re a fan of Manson’s work and have been struggling with women, then his book, Models is perfect for you.

Like his other works, Models is a no-BS book about attracting women authentically. Through this comprehensive guide, you also become a better, honest man and person.

Keep reading to learn about the top eight key takeaways from Models by Mark Manson. 

Mark Manson: The Man Behind the Book

Mark Manson is a three-time #1 New York Times bestselling author. His books have sold over 14 million copies worldwide and have been translated into more than 65 languages. Manson’s books have also hit the bestseller lists in 16 different countries.

His book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck was the most-read non-fiction book in 2017 and is considered a mega-bestseller. He has written other self-help and non-fiction books that have taken the world by storm. Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope, like his other works, questions conventional thoughts and assumptions about life. 

But he hasn’t written self-help books. He co-wrote Will Smith’s memoir Will, which Oprah said was the best memoir she’d ever read.

Manson has also been published or featured in over 50 of the biggest global news outlets, from the New York Times to Fox News.  

Aside from being a best-selling author, Manson has spoken to several of the most innovative companies in the world. He has also lectured at several prestigious universities across the United States.

Before he was an author, Manson was a blogger. He started a blog, which is still active, with over 15 million readers each year. His main goal, in his words, is to simply share life advice that doesn’t suck. 

Introduction

Models is a book on becoming an attractive man. But it does not promote tricks, techniques, and tactics to manipulate the laws of attraction. Instead, Manson encourages men to partake in self-development to attract women in an honest way.

Its advice and insight are backed by years of psychological research, with a focus on the emotional process of seduction. It’s the first book on the art of seduction to move away from logical steps.

The main goal is to create long-lasting connections with women, rather than just trying to impress them. This mature and honest guide will help you attract women without faking behavior, lying, or emulating others. 

Models by Mark Manson covers how to overcome anxiety, how to speak to women, and how to make yourself more attractive. It also gives insight into what women find attractive and why pick-up theory is counterproductive in the long term. 

StoryShot #1:  Understanding Women

The first step in attracting women is trying to understand them. While this seems like an impossible task, Manson makes it relatively easy.

He states that several changing variables affect what women find attractive. These variables include their menstrual cycle and relationship status, along with the mismatch between body arousal and perceived arousal. This is explained in detail in the book Sex at Dawn. 

But Manson points out that one thing remains consistent – women want men with status and power. Although, not in the traditional sense. Status, to the modern woman, is shown by how you treat others, how they treat you, and how you treat yourself.

Manson also divides women into three categories– though he only does this for practical purposes. These categories are Unreceptive, Neutral, and Receptive.

Unreceptive women are unavailable, or simply not interested in having a sexual or romantic relationship with you. A Receptive woman is already sexually attracted to you. She would usually initiate contact and willingly reciprocate your feelings. 

Neutral women, on the other hand, are usually ones you’ve recently met and spent only some time with. They’re “sitting on the fence” when it comes to wanting any sort of physical relationship with you. Unlike men, women spend a lot of time on the fence.  

StoryShot #2:  The Basics of Attracting Women

Now that you have some understanding of how women operate, you can begin trying to attract them.

Manson notes that a man’s attractiveness is inversely proportionate to his neediness. But neediness in this case is defined slightly differently. It means to be more invested in other people’s perception of you than in your perception of yourself.

In other words – neediness implies that you’re willing to change aspects of yourself to impress other people, especially women. Manson states that you shouldn’t sacrifice your thoughts, feelings, and motivations for someone more than they sacrifice theirs for you.  He groups thoughts, feelings, and motivations into one category, calling them investments. 

Manson uses evolutionary psychology to drive his point home. But it essentially boils down to being invested, but not as much as the other person.  

Instead of being needy, Manson suggests being vulnerable. 

He recognizes that men are typically raised to not show emotion or weakness and avoid introspection. But he encourages men to be willing to share their emotions, insecurities, and fears. Manson also warns, though, that you’d have to be willing to open yourself up for rejection. 

Unfortunately, nothing is ever black and white. Showing desire does create a paradox. Expressing desire shows vulnerability, but it’s also needy and can lower your perceived status.

To counteract this paradox, Manson discourages the use of pick-up artistry. PUA generally uses tactics and tricks to pursue women, without showing any form of attraction.   

He explains that genuine vulnerability “short-circuits” this paradox. Mainly because a high-status man is comfortable with their vulnerability. In turn, he is also not needy.

StoryShot #3:  The Gift of Truth

Manson goes into the issues of PUA, stating that it’s bogus to pursue a woman without letting her know you’re interested. Being honest and upfront is always the better route. 

It’s not only attractive to women but it encourages them to be vulnerable, honest, and upfront too. It also sets a precedent for the relationship.  When you’re upfront and honest, boundaries can be easily drawn, and you can comfortably tell your partner when they’re being out of line.

Manson also recognizes that full honesty is polarizing, but it’s not a bad thing. The gift of truth acts as a quick screening tool, allowing you to not waste any time. 

But he also highlights one issue when it comes to women – they fear men who aren’t afraid of honesty. According to Manson, you’ll get many rejections from women who are actually attracted to you. 

This leads to his next major point – don’t be afraid of rejection.

Fear of rejection stems from people operating on other people’s truths. Or rather, their opinions of you. But, if you’re operating within your own truths, not concerned with other people, then you have nothing to fear. 

Manson also highlights three fundamentals of attraction under the gift of truth: honest living, honest action, and honest communication.

StoryShot #4: Honest Living 

Getting straight into it, Manson agrees that age, money, and looks matter, and anyone who tells you differently is lying. In some cases, they matter more, and in others, they matter less.

But he does state that they matter much less than men generally think. 

When it comes to age, Models highlights that a man’s attractiveness peaks at 31. Additionally, a 45-year-old man is still considered as attractive as an 18-year-old. But it’s not the age of a man that women generally judge. They usually judge a man’s status on how well they look after themselves.

Money is important because it’s a key indicator of one’s status. Its importance also increases with age. Money is also an important factor for women who grew up in poverty. 

When it comes to looks, though, things get a bit interesting. Manson highlights that looks are valued most by women who only have good looks. In other words, they’re women who are attractive but won’t necessarily make you happy or bring anything else to the table.

At the end of the day, men and women judge attractiveness differently. Men judge female attractiveness by physical traits first, and presentation and personality second. Whereas, women prefer personality and presentation to physical attractiveness. 

Because of this, you need to adjust how you present and take care of yourself – in an honest way, of course.

Manson dedicates an entire chapter to tips on how you can present yourself. They cover body language, fitness, fashion, developing character, and vocal tonality.

Becoming Your Best Self

Presenting yourself better, and in turn becoming an honest, true version of yourself, isn’t a difficult task.

The first step is all about grooming and maintenance. Things like regular showering, haircuts, and shaving all form part of this. Wearing deodorant and clean clothes, and having clean fingernails and teeth also play an important role in your presentation.

You should also attempt to be fashionable and fit. Dressing well is simple – wear matching clothes that fit your personality and wear clothes that fit you well. In terms of fitness, you should have a clean diet and be exercising regularly.

When it comes to body language, Manson breaks down some basics. Always stand with your shoulders back, chest out, and back straight – it exudes confidence. In the same vein, you should also walk with some swagger (make sure not to overdo it, though).

Being expressive is also very attractive to women, so when you speak, do so from your chest and be louder than you think you need to be. Further, you shouldn’t look down, instead, look straight ahead and always look people in the eye.

On developing character, Manson highlights that attractive people have depth. People with character have hobbies, interests, and opinions.

Attractive men openly express their opinions and find that everything has a form of value. When developing character, always consider what would make you stand out from other men. Always seek to expand your horizons.

StoryShot #5: Honest Action

Manson uses the findings of Freud and Jung to support his arguments on honest action. Freud and Jung state that, in a way, we are the stories we tell ourselves.

Many psychologists have agreed and demonstrated these stories often share a single defining characteristic. They also exist to protect the status quo, all to protect our “emotional inertia.” 

In simple terms, our “stories” are our defensive mechanisms. They’re also the way our adaptive unconscious helps us cope with rejection and disappointment. In most cases, these stories or thoughts, as Manson puts it, help us overcome anxiety.

He uses common thoughts as examples for the stories we tell ourselves, like “I’m too good for this girl,” or “I’ve been with prettier ones.”

But, over time they can lead to a few issues, especially if you’re unwilling to open up and be vulnerable. The needier a man, is the less this tactic works. Eventually, the anxiety builds, and a cycle of neediness begins. 

To overcome anxiety, Manson suggests identifying what makes you anxious around women and tackling it in small increments.

For example, if your anxiety stems from approaching women, overcome it by approaching a few women every day. Simply ask them for the time. 

When that stops being a challenge, ask them how their day is going afterward. Each time it is easier, add a conversational piece to make it more challenging. Eventually, you’ll be able to walk up to a woman, tell her she’s attractive, and ask her out on a date with ease.

StoryShot #6: Honest Communication

No matter how attractive you are, or how good you are with women, sometimes you’ll come across as creepy. Manson states that being open about your sexuality is going to weird some women out. But you don’t want those women anyway, so it shouldn’t cause any concern.

At the end of the day, you should always be upfront and honest when approaching women. It’s not only to the point (which is important, as discussed), but it’s also vulnerable. Being assertive in this sense also builds far more sexual tension.

Ultimately, honest communication begins with honest intentions. Being aware and honest with your intentions allows you to connect deeply and emotionally with a woman.

When you share these emotions and intentions with someone, it creates trust. In return, she will share her emotions and intentions.

StoryShot #7: How to Speak to Women

Building on honest communication, Manson goes into some tips on how to speak to women.

When communicating with a woman, be aware of how you speak to her. Manson shows us that friends speak in statements, not questions. Constantly throwing questions at someone gives off the impression that you want something from them. 

For example, instead of asking her how long she’s known someone, say that they look like old friends. 

Manson also highlights that men and women communicate differently. Women tend to speak about themselves and enjoy it. Men, on the other hand, tend to discuss things outside of themselves.

The fix?  Men should talk about their feelings, stories, and dreams – all things that relate to both people in the conversation.

So, how do you start a conversation with a woman then?

Manson’s suggestions are simple. Never approach a woman from behind, smile, and give good eye contact. It doesn’t necessarily matter what you say first, although he admits he usually blurts out a greeting and introduces himself.

StoryShot #8: The Dating Process

Manson goes into the modern dating process and how it’s essentially a rigid line. He goes into the various stages of the process, but most notably, he gives strategies for setting up the perfect date. 

He advises partaking in interactive activities that change venues. If you’ve ever watched How I Met Your Mother, Ted’s “Super Date” is the perfect date, according to Mark Manson.

Manson also puts heavy emphasis on the man needing to take the lead in planning and organizing the date.

Of course, a book about dating and attracting women was going to end in sex. Luckily, once you’ve gotten to this stage of a relationship with a woman, you’ve already got all the tools you need to seal the deal. 

Manson’s principles are useful in the bedroom, too – be confident, generous, and honest. And most importantly, be dominant.

Key Takeaways from Models by Mark Manson

The key takeaways of Models by Mark Manson can be summarized into two simple words – be honest. 

Being honest with yourself allows you to be honest with a woman. In turn, this allows for vulnerability, the opposite of neediness. Being truthful is also polarizing, which is a good thing. It acts as a screening tool for women you don’t want to date.

Honesty also falls under the three fundamentals of attractiveness: honest living, honest action, and honest communication.