Give and Take Summary and Review | Book by Adam Grant
Why Helping Others Drives Our Success
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Introduction
Give and Take was published in 2013 and delves into the topic of how giving and helping others can lead to success in one’s own career.
The book is divided into three parts, where the first part explains why helping others drives our success. The second part explores the concept of “takers” and the last part explains “givers” and how they are successful in the long term.
The book argues that by being generous and helping others, individuals can create a strong network, build trust, and create a positive reputation. It also provides strategies and tips on how to navigate relationships with takers and matchers.
About Adam Grant
Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist and professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. He is the author of several books on the topic of organizational behavior, including “Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success“, “Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World“, and “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy“.
Adam Grant is a regular contributor to The New York Times and has been recognized as one of the world’s top management thinkers by Thinkers50. In his research and writing, Grant explores topics such as leadership, creativity, and the role of giving and receiving help in the workplace.
StoryShot #1: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success
Adam Grant delves into the idea that by actively helping others, you can drive your own success. He presents a wealth of research and real-life examples to illustrate how “givers” – those who prioritize helping others – tend to achieve more success in their careers than those who focus solely on their own success, known as “takers.”
- A study of salespeople found that those who focused on building relationships and helping their customers were more successful than those who focused solely on making sales.
- A study of lawyers found that those who spent more time mentoring and helping junior colleagues had more successful careers than those who didn’t.
- An analysis of venture capitalists found that those who were more likely to help entrepreneurs in their portfolio companies were more likely to achieve successful exits.
- A study of surgeons found that those who helped and taught their colleagues had better surgical outcomes and were more likely to be promoted.
Additionally, the author provides several real-life examples to illustrate the principles he discusses, such as:
- The story of Adam Rifkin, who became one of the most connected people in Silicon Valley by always being willing to help others.
- The example of Keith Ferrazzi, a successful consultant and author, who attributes his success to his habit of building strong relationships by helping others.
- The experience of Wharton Business School Professor Adam Grant, who found that his most successful students were often the ones who spent the most time helping their peers.
StoryShot #2: The Pros and Cons of Being a Matcher
Adam Grant introduce the idea of “matchers,” who help others with the expectation of receiving help in return. He argues that givers are often more successful than matchers as well. Matchers operate on the principle of “tit-for-tat” and believe that if they help someone, that person will be more likely to help them when they need it. Matchers believe that by being helpful, they are building a network of people who will be willing to help them in the future.
While matchers can be successful in their careers, they often do not achieve as much success as “givers,” who help others without expecting anything in return. Matchers also tend to be more focused on maintaining balance in their relationships. They might be less likely to form deep and trusting relationships.
Matchers are also less likely to take risks and be more cautious in their giving since they always expect something in return, which might limit their ability to form deep and meaningful relationships. They also tend to be less likely to be viewed as trustworthy and reliable by others, since their actions are often perceived as self-motivated.
While matchers may be successful, givers are often more successful in their careers, as they build stronger relationships and establish a reputation as helpful and trustworthy individuals.
StoryShot #3: The Power of Reciprocity Style
The author also introduces the concept of “reciprocity style” and how it can affect your success as a giver. Reciprocity style refers to the way in which givers choose to help others, and how they manage the give-and-take dynamic in their relationships. There are three types of reciprocity styles:
- “Passive”: Givers who give without any expectation of return, they don’t keep track of who they’ve helped or who they’ve received help from. They are the ones that often get taken advantage of.
- “Balanced”: Givers who give and take in roughly equal measure. They keep track of who they’ve helped and who they’ve received help from. They believe that by giving, they are creating a network of people who will be willing to help them when they need it.
- “Active”: Givers who are strategic about how and when they give. They keep track of who they’ve helped and who they’ve received help from, and they give with a clear idea of how the other person can help them in the future.
Active givers are the most successful because they give strategically, and they don’t let themselves get taken advantage of. The book provides examples of how to use an active reciprocity style, such as:
- When you’re asked to do something, consider whether it aligns with your goals and whether you have the resources to help. If it does, go for it. If it doesn’t, gracefully decline.
- When you’re the one doing the asking, make it easy for the other person to say yes by providing specific and clear instructions, and by demonstrating that you value their time and expertise.
Active givers can create a powerful network, build trust, and create a positive reputation, by being helpful in a strategic way.
StoryShot #4: Dealing with Takers
Takers are individuals who prioritize their own success over helping others. Takers are often self-centered, they believe that the world revolves around them. They are more focused on achieving their own goals, and they tend to be less interested in the success of others.
The book provides several examples of takers in different fields and industries, such as:
- The taker CEO, who is more interested in promoting himself than in building a great company.
- The taker salesperson, who is more interested in making a sale than in building a relationship with the customer.
- The taker colleague who is more interested in getting credit for your work than in helping you succeed.
Takers are often successful in the short term, but they tend to have trouble maintaining relationships and achieving long-term success. Takers might be able to get what they want in the short term, but in the long term, their behavior undermines their reputation, relationships, and ultimately their success.
Takers believe that the world revolves around them, so they feel entitled to take what they want, without worrying about the impact on others.
Identifying Takers
Takers can often be identified by their tendency to take credit for others’ work, their focus on their own success, and their tendency to make demands rather than requests. They also tend to be less interested in helping others and more interested in promoting themselves.
When dealing with takers, it’s important to set clear boundaries and to be assertive in communicating your needs. Takers often respond well to clear communication and will respect you more if you are direct with them. Additionally, when receiving help from a taker, it’s important to be aware of the expectations and to be cautious with the information you share with them.
StoryShot #5: The Power of Giving
Givers are individuals who prioritize helping others over-achieving their own success. Givers are often selfless, they believe in creating value for others. They are more focused on the success of others, and they tend to be more interested in the well-being of others.
The book provides several examples of givers in different fields, such as:
- The giver CEO who is more interested in building a great company than in promoting himself.
- The giver salesperson who is more interested in building a relationship with the customer than in making a sale.
- The giver colleague who is more interested in helping you succeed than in getting credit for your work.
Givers are often successful in the long term, they tend to have strong relationships and a positive reputation. Givers create value for others, they build strong relationships and a positive reputation, which ultimately leads to success.
Givers believe that the world is a better place when they help others, so they put the needs of others before their own.
Identifying Givers
Givers can often be identified by their willingness to help others, their tendency to give credit to others, and their focus on the well-being of others. They also tend to be less interested in taking credit for themselves and more interested in helping others succeed.
Dealing with Givers
When dealing with givers, it’s important, to be honest, and direct with them. Givers often appreciate clear communication and will respond well to straightforward requests for help. Additionally, when receiving help from a giver, it’s important to be grateful and to reciprocate when possible.
Being a Giver
To be a giver, it’s important to focus on creating value for others, building relationships, and being generous. Givers should also be strategic in their giving, focusing on giving in ways that will be most beneficial for both the giver and the receiver. Additionally, givers should be aware of their own limits and avoid overextending themselves.
StoryShot #6: The Dark Side of Giving
Adam Grant explores the potential downsides of giving and how givers can protect themselves from being taken advantage of. While giving can lead to success, givers need to be aware of the potential pitfalls and take steps to protect themselves.
Some examples of the downsides of giving that the book highlights include:
- Givers can get taken advantage of, if they give too much or to the wrong people.
- Givers can also burn out, if they give too much without taking care of themselves.
To protect themselves, the author suggests that givers should be aware of their own limits, and avoid overextending themselves. Givers should be strategic in their giving and focus on giving in ways that will be most beneficial for both the giver and the receiver. Givers should be aware of the takers and the matchers in their network, and how to navigate their relationships with them.
StoryShot #7: Strategies for Success
Adam Grant provides several strategies and tips for individuals to be successful givers and navigate their professional relationships in a way that benefits both themselves and others. Here are ten strategies for success as a giver:
- Be strategic in your giving: Choose the best ways to help others that align with your own goals and resources.
- Build a network of givers: Form relationships with people who also prioritize giving and helping others.
- Find the right fit: Look for opportunities that align with your strengths, interests, and values.
- Be aware of the downsides of giving: Be aware of the potential pitfalls and take steps to protect yourself.
- Avoid overextending yourself: Set boundaries and be aware of your own limits to avoid burnout.
- Be aware of takers and matchers: Navigate relationships with them to protect yourself.
- Manage the give-and-take dynamic in relationships: Be clear about your own expectations and be willing to reciprocate when others help you.
- Take care of yourself: Make time for your own interests, needs, and well-being.
- Be direct and honest in your communication: Givers appreciate clear communication and will respond well to straightforward requests for help.
- Be generous but strategic: Create value for others, build relationships, and be generous, but be smart about it, to avoid burnout or being taken advantage of.
Final Summary and Review
Give and Take explores the idea that helping others can lead to success in one’s own career. Grant presents research and real-life examples to show how givers, who prioritize helping others, tend to achieve more success than those who focus solely on their own success, known as takers.
The book also introduces the idea of “matchers,” who help others with the expectation of receiving help in return. It argues that givers are often more successful than matchers.
Additionally, the book explores the concept of “reciprocity style” and how it can affect a giver’s success. The book explains that active givers, who give strategically, are the most successful.
Rating
We rate this book 4.1/5.
How would you rate Give and Take?
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