Do you need someone to motivate you to make some changes in your life? If you do, then this summary of Unfu*k Yourself might be for you. This would be a very short and concise read.
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What is Unfu*k Yourself About?
The book consists of seven chapters. Each of these chapters focuses on a different statement. These statements are broken down and explained thoroughly in the book. They are very intuitive and the way the author presents them makes them stick. They are meant to be used as mental guidance.
Oftentimes we find ourselves stuck in a rut, feeling sorry as if we just can’t seem to win. In this book, John Bishop reminds us that when all hope seems lost, we should remember that simply being alive is a miracle in and of itself.
Bishop puts emphasis on the importance of our actions. He argues that wishful thinking is never enough and makes you realize that you cannot just hope for the best to happen, you have to take matters into your own hands. You should stop making excuses and just start working towards your goal.
What makes John Bishop stand out is how he does it. He’s very direct and makes you rethink the way you approach life by appealing to your sense of worth.
- Practice positive self-talk. Don’t think about why you can’t do something, think about how you can make it work.
- Stop blaming others and take responsability over your life. No one is here to pamper your ass.
- Life doesn’t care if you’re sick, tired, broke, or that your toe hurts. Do what needs to be done despite the hurdles along the way.
Gary John Bishop is one of the leading personal development experts in the industry. His “urban philosophy” approach represents a new wave of personal empowerment and life mastery that has provided miraculous results for people in the quality and performance of their lives.
Chapter by Chapter Summary of Unfu*k Yourself
Ultimately with John Bishop as our guide, we are able to understand our shortcomings and begin to take charge of our own destiny. With this step-by-step guide to understanding what we can’t control and regaining our journey, we are truly able to unf*ck ourselves.
Chapter 1: I Am Willing
This may be the simplest yet most powerful concept Bishop outlines. It is the foundation from which John Bishop builds his entire premise. He explains that more often than not, the reason people struggle to make a change in their lives is due to their unwillingness to take the first step, not because they don’t want to.
If we are willing to take the first step, make the initial change and do what it takes to reach our goal, there is little that we will be unable to accomplish.
When we are willing, we open up the ability to manifest our dreams.
On the flip side of this, if we are not willing and are unable to change our situation, Bishop says the worst thing you can do is blame yourself. He reminds us that this is an attitude not of acceptance but of forgiveness and keeps the door open to the possibility of change in the future. Whereas when we cast blame on ourselves, we create a negative perception of ourselves and can easily get stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and an inability to take action.
“We often view ourselves as procrastinators, lazy or unmotivated. When in reality, we’re simply unwilling. We put things off or avoid them completely because we tell ourselves we just don’t want to do it or that we can’t do it.”Gary John Bishop
Chapter 2: I Am Wired to Win
By refusing to lose, you will always win. John Bishop states that you are constantly in a state of winning just by doing.
“You change your life by doing, not by thinking about doing.”Gary John Bishop
When you say yes to anything you win at that moment. We also dive into the subconscious a bit here; once we understand that our subconscious is responsible for 95% of what we do on a daily basis, we can figure out how to break away and conquer a new task.
The last point John Bishop touches on here is how to go about changing the problem areas you may be dealing with. He says that you first must create a game plan for how you are going to transform the situation. Determine exactly what it is you want to change, how you’re going to get there and what the end result will look like. It is ultimately your choice to play or change the game. Simply put, just stop doing what you want to stop winning at.
Chapter 3: I Got This
This chapter is all about perception. John Bishop warns against the idea of perfection because in real-life nothing is perfect. He elaborates on how this perceived idea may cause hard times to seem more desolate. He describes those times in which you may feel down in your luck and start pitying yourself. Because of the chain reaction of negativity, these experiences tend to flow into every possible aspect of your life if you allow it. Instead of allowing this negative mindset and frustration to ooze all over our lives,
Bishop offers a solution to keeping it at bay. His two-part approach suggests that we first change our view of the situation entirely. Yeah! Something shitty happened! But that doesn’t mean you have to let it control everything around you. When we choose to take on an optimistic view, we see these downfalls as nothing more than a growth opportunity. Likewise, we are told to shift our perspective not just on a specific problem, but entirely.
“Remember, everything is solve-able, and if you can’t see a solution, it only means you haven’t worked it out yet.”Gary John Bishop
Everyone has problems; some worse than others. However, if we look back on previously encountered problems after the fact, they may seem unimportant now. So it is likely that our current problems will seem trivial in the future and our future problems will be easy enough to overcome if we adopt a positive outlook.
“In simple terms, the language you use to describe your circumstances determines how you see, experience, and participate in them and dramatically affects how you deal with your life and confront problems both big and small.”Gary John Bishop
Chapter 4: I Embrace the Uncertainty
Certainty is almost always the product of a need for safety. We crave knowledge of what’s happening and what’s going to happen. Just knowing we have even an ounce of control makes us feel safe. Certainty is a safety blanket and one that we need to stop carrying around with us.
Risk is one of life’s great necessities without it we would still be stuck in the cave spending all day trying to find food or start a fire. Risks have led to some incredible things that make life easier; like electricity and modern medicine to start. Those may be extreme examples and obviously the risks we take on in our lives are typically not going to amount to that, but even the little things we do take a risk on are necessary.
Take your favorite food, for example, you wouldn’t know you even liked it had you not stepped out of your comfort zone and tried it in the first place. Once we allow ourselves to become comfortable with the idea of the unknown, we open ourselves up to immense possibility. John Bishop points out that if our goal is to be successful, there is a need for risk. If we cannot venture into the unknown and we are living in the past and there is nothing productive that can come from settling into the familiar.
John Bishop also notes that the fear of uncertainty can stem from the fear of judgment. He reminds us that this hinders our ability to be successful. If we allow other people’s opinions to matter we make room for doubt and cloud our vision. Thereby losing our perception of a successful self. Uncertainty is inevitable to embrace it.
“Life won’t stop for your pauses and procrastinations. It won’t stop for your confusion or fear. It will continue right along without you. Whether you play an active part or not, the show will go on.”Gary John Bishop
Chapter 5: I Am NOT My Thoughts. I Am What I Do
Focusing on our thoughts is not so different than focusing on other people’s opinions of us. Neither one really matters nor can both stand in the way of us accomplishing our goals. However, the difference is that we have the ability to control our own consciousness and thereby control our actions.
John Bishop believes that it is not our thoughts that make us either successful or unsuccessful, but rather our actions or the thoughts which we act on. While there is a debate on whether or not we can control our thoughts Bishop sees this practice as more or less a waste of time.
He says that what makes people truly great is not controlling every thought they have, but deciding which ones to put into motion.
Therefore you are not your thoughts and should not base your perception of yourself on them. Everyone has negative thoughts some more than others but it’s a common thread we all share.
As we’ve said, how we act on these thoughts determines who we are. So if we choose to ignore the negative ones and act positively instead we become a more positive person. Similarly, if we want to change our lives we have to act on that desire. Since we start doing something about it that’s when the change will happen.
We also tend to become more confident the moment we take action. Worrying about what could happen breeds doubt, but seeing yourself accomplished something you were previously unsure of teaches you to be confident in your abilities and encourages you to take more risks in the future.
“If you took the time to be with what I’m saying, you’d realize that what causes most of your worry is trying to predict the future and then refusing to accept things when they don’t or aren’t going to go your way.”Gary John Bishop
Chapter 6: I Am Relentless
We’ve all seen the quote “Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire” What we haven’t seen is someone like Bishop deconstructing this idea into actionable steps that lead to success. In order to understand just how powerful we are, John Bishop tells us to visualize our previous successes and how they were achieved. He then makes the assumption presumably not wrong that there was some amount of discomfort risk or sacrifice involved in each of these.
He also assumes that in order to accomplish these tasks, we have to be relentless in our desire for success. This concept of relentlessness is how we are to overcome the obstacles which present themselves as distractions to getting whatever it is we want. When obstacles such as doubt and confusion set in, that is when we must be the most relentless. Recall why you began the pursuit in the first place, what is the goal? What is it that’s getting in your way or slowing you down? Determine the roadblock. John Bishop says that we have to agree to something for it to become our reality. Therefore if you don’t agree to this thing standing in your way, then you simply cannot be stopped by it.
You must remain resolute in your determination to reach your goal. If you make a mistake take too long or get discouraged at times, it’s OK. The journey doesn’t have to look exactly the way you imagined it would, but whatever you do, do not stop for anything. Keep going, push through and be relentless.
“Here’s the deal: true relentlessness comes when the only thing you have left is relentlessness. When it seems all is lost and all hope and evidence for success have long since vanished, relentlessness is the fuel that drives you through.”Gary John Bishop
Chapter 7: I Expect Nothing and Accept Everything
Things don’t go according to plan and the whole thing may seem like it was doomed. It doesn’t matter accept the challenge, reroute and welcome the reality of what comes your way. We may not always be able to control what happens but we can control how we respond to the situation. Expecting the unexpected seems counterproductive.
On the contrary, John Bishop says that when we set expectations we are often setting ourselves up for disappointment. Even if we don’t realize we have an expectation for the task at hand, we likely do and with that, we leave the door wide open for disappointment. Not only that, but our expectations may be so strong that they distract us from other progress or possibilities.
When things don’t go the way we want we may become angry disappointed or feel various forms of negative emotions; what we don’t experience is relief or a sense of control.
To combat this John Bishop says we should always try to expect that things aren’t going to go the way we anticipated, and that’s OK. We simply have to accept and move on. Once we make a conscious effort to practice this we take away the opportunity for disappointment. We become much more flexible and we are able to appreciate the process.
In the end, it isn’t so much about how we get to the goal as it is about making it to the end. We allow ourselves to do instead of wishing we could.
“you must first accept that while there are things that have happened in your life that you had no say in, you are 100 percent responsible for what you do with your life in the aftermath of those events. Always, every time, no excuses.”Gary John Bishop
Everything we do is fueled by something, the trick then is to not let that something that is fueling us be fear or negativity. These emotions can rule our lives if we let them or we can choose to kick them to the curb and regain control.
Our thoughts are not enough though; simply wishing to be in control of a situation or hoping something would happen will not change anything other than the amount of time wasted in a day. When we are willing to make a change and take affirmative steps towards it, which is when the biggest differences are made.
We must remember to embrace uncertainty expect things to go wrong and know how to respond when they do. This plan of attack will surely lead you towards success, even if it takes you a little while to get there.
You are the only thing standing in your way Every day we have a choice: we can either allow each day to pass us by feeling lost and hopeless or we can grab life by the horns. More often than not we stand in our own way, blocking our own path to living a happy and free life. What’s worse is we don’t even realize what we’re doing to ourselves.
One of the most important tips John Bishop gives the reader is not only to change the way we think but also to make a conscious effort to change the way we speak to others and most importantly to ourselves.
Words are far more powerful than we may realize and the wrong ones can truly cause damage. The right words, on the other hand, can change everything.
According to numerous studies, scientists believe that approximately 50,000 thoughts pass through our heads every day. Are your thoughts positive, negative, encouraging, self-deprecating? We have 50,000 opportunities every day to either beat ourselves down or build ourselves up, and whichever we choose impacts everything else we do and feel.
What you say to yourself also has a massive impact on how you see yourself. If you are constantly saying I can’t or I shouldn’t, you create a negative perception of what you are or rather aren’t capable of. Whereas if you are continually striving to paint a picture of yourself as a winner in your own mind, you will eventually believe that you are. This I am battle Bishop has put in front of us is what he likes to call being self-assertive. What he means is to be so sure of who you are and what you want that nothing can stop you.
So John Bishop turns “I am” into “I am willing” and a bold new set of actions are born. He breaks these down into seven declarations.
- Progress: “Become someone who progresses even when all seems lost.” Regardless of how you feel, keep going towards your goals.
- Doing: Doing should be your action word. Because only doing can move you closer to where you want to be.
- Stop with the excuses: Yes, you’re probably tired, overworked, sick. You may even have grown in the ghetto but no one gives a damn about these things. You can spend all day complaining or all day doing what you know you should be doing. It’s up to you.
- Stop doing things that are not beneficial: List all of the things that are not helping you progress in your life. Things like spending time on social, eating junk food, talking with stupid people. Track down when and why you’re doing them and do your best to stop.
- Start doing the things that are helping you: Once the above is done, list all of the things you know you should be doing. Things like eating healthy, exercising, working on your side hustle. Think about how you can add them to your life and make sure you follow your schedule.
What did you learn from the summary of Unfu*k Yourself? What was your favorite takeaway? Is there an important insight that we missed? Comment below or tweet to us @storyshots.
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